Why Are You Worrying About You-Know-Who? You SHOULD Be Worrying About U-NO-POO — the Constipation Sensation That’s Gripping the Nation!
[AGGRESSIVELY ATTEMPTS TO ENJOY SOMETHING WHILE IGNORING HALF OF THE FANDOM]
…the article (continuing on pages two, six, and seven) had been all about Harry, the names of the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang champions (misspelled) had been squashed into the last line of the article, and Cedric hadn’t been mentioned at all.